A sudden, intense feeling of nausea swept over me and my vision began to blur. I realized I was nearly fainting, and tried to position myself in a way that would bring relief. The next moments seemed like forever as I waited for possible blackness to come.
Thankfully, the darkness didn’t come and I was able to stumble back to my bed. I was incredibly weak, shaking with cold. I reached for my phone once I was settled in bed and could make sense of what to do. I called my husband, Eric, who had just left for work and told him through tears that I had nearly fainted and didn’t feel well. His care and compassion meant so much; I was especially grateful for his prayer in my behalf. He assured me to please call if I needed anything; I tried to keep back the tears that didn’t seem to want to stop.
It seemed at that point that my season of health struggle wasn’t improving but only worsening. I stared at the ceiling from my horizontal position in bed. The never ending questions came back as I cried out to Jesus for some measure of relief and ability to hope in the midst of my dark night. The hours passed as I tossed and turned; eventually, sleep claimed my heavy eyelids. I awoke late in the afternoon, surprised at the time. I knew I should try to get up and put some things away from our recent trip.
I slowly pulled myself out of bed; I prayed for physical strength to do what needed to be done. I was grateful that I didn’t feel lightheaded anymore. I ambled through the house doing what I could, but soon sat down realizing I was still quite weak. It was a relief when my husband made it safely home from work.
The next several days weren’t easy physically. Our house was chaotic; my intentions of being a good housewife crumbled. I found doubt and worry beginning to clutch at my very soul; “Jesus, Son of David, please have mercy on me.”
The following afternoon while laying on the couch attempting to find some measure of relief from the severity of my pain, I received a text. It simply said, “I’m praying for you!” I didn’t even know who the text was from, but my pain soon began to subside and I was able to rest.
My dear friend and nearby neighbor called me later and said she would like to bring supper for my husband and I. I humbly accepted and felt overwhelmed at God’s provision. When she came, she brought more than a hearty supper! She brought items for my husband’s lunches and mentioned as she was walking out the door that she would like to do this again for us soon.
I wept. I did nothing to deserve her gracious gesture of love. I had nothing in return to give her but a humble thank you. I also thought about the countless times throughout my sickness that other people have showed us in tangible ways how much they care. I realized in a new and precious way the analogy of the Father’s gifts to me.
I don’t deserve salvation. I don’t deserve the lavish love of my heavenly Father. Yes, I have present difficulty, but I have a Father who knows all about it. He reaches for me and draws me to Himself. Sometimes I sense Him so near I can almost see Him gently reaching over and wiping my tears and whispering, “Joanne, I’m here; I haven’t forsaken you.”
I’ve done nothing. He’s done everything to make this present life worth living. Thank you, Jesus!
*Photo courtesy of Flickr user, Heather Katsoulis.
7 thoughts on “An Analogy from Receiving”
I pray for you too Joanne.
Oh yes He cares, I know He cares
His heart is touched with my grief
When the days are weary, the long night dreary
I know my Saviour cares.
Hugs, dear Jo
Beautiful, honest, heartbreaking. Love you! Praying for you! Rachel
Thank you, dear friend!
You were on my heart early this morning Joanne, and so I prayed for you. I care. Heidi
Thanks so much, Heidi! Your prayers in my behalf means so much. Thanks for caring. Blessings on your snowy day.